In the spring of 1993, Jeanell's relationship with my good friend Dave ended. They had been dating (or "going out") for more than a year. I don't remember exactly when or how it happened, but at some point over the next couple of months I became interested in her. It really hit home when I heard that she was interested in another friend and hearing that felt like a gut-punch. Fortunately, that relationship never materialized and at some point Jeanell and I became mutually interested. My one distinct memory from this time period was me taking a few friends home from school or some activity and strategically taking Jeanell home last. I don't remember much of what we talked about, but I'm pretty sure I said something like "I want to like someone, but there's just no one to like." (Mr. Subtlety here).
In the prior months, I had been kind of liking my friend and neighbor Ashley. I don't know that either of us felt that we were in a relationship, but we had been hanging out a little bit. That May was the series finale of Cheers, and as everyone knew that I was a huge fan of the show, Ashley had planned a Cheers. party to watch the series finale. But by the time the party rolled around, Jeanell and I were liking each other. I believe we did go to the party, but we didn't stay long.
In the early days of our relationship, we hung out with my friend Aaron and Jeanell's friend Amie, who had also recently started liking each other, mostly at Amie's house in the Old Church Subdivision. As school wound down, there was a Friday night that Aaron and I were supposed to meet up with Amie and Jeanell at Amie's house. But Steve Young was coming to Grantsville High School to make an appearance and Aaron and I were going to attend that first. But Steve ended up being very late and finally we left and at least to my recollection we never saw Steve. I've told this story before but this was the night that Aaron and I each told our parents that we were sleeping over at the other's house to give us some cover for a late night. We finally made it to Amie's, but Amie and Jeanell were not too happy with us because we were so much later than we planned. But ultimately they forgave us, and played for us the dedication they had done for us on the radio ("Turning to Journey now, and a dedication to Richard and Aaron, from Amie and Jeanell, it's 'Open Arms' on light FM100", I still have the recording).
We hung out for a while, but finally as it got later, Aaron said that we'd better go and we left (as it turns out, just in time), and headed to my house. As we pulled into my driveway, the headlights panned across our living room window to reveal my mom sitting in there, and knew something was up. Found out that someone (never found out who) called my house very late and asked if I was there, and my parents decided that meant I was somewhere I wasn't supposed to be or at least not where I'd said I was, and my dad had gone to look for me. But things timed just right to where we were able to say we'd been at Aaron's and had just left to come to my house, and were going to sleep out on the trampoline.
Later that night, Jeanell and Amie sneaked over to my house and woke us up on the trampoline, and that's when Jeanell and I had our first kiss (I was later told it was too forceful, but I did eventually improve).
Our relationship went pretty well over the next month or so, although we were apart for at least a week of that as I went to football camp and Jeanell went to Alta (the improv theatre camp that some of the Esteem Team members attended). At the beginning of July, I went with Jeanell and her family as her brother Cam participated in the All-State football game, but by that point, Jeanell had cooled a bit on our relationship and shortly after that outing, she broke up with me.
At that time in Grantsville, we did a 24th of July program each year, and since Jeanell and I had been dating, we were partnered up for some of the dances. Now that word got out that we had broken up, the program directors wanted to make sure we still wanted to dance together. We both said that we did and ended up getting back together anyway just prior to the program. That night was also the first time I remember being aware of Brad's interest in Jeanell, as he sent his little sister Rachel up to Jeanell to say "My brother thinks you're gorgeous!" while I was standing right there next to her. (While I didn’t appreciate it at the time, I have to admit this was a baller move. What was I going to do?)
Jeanell and I remained together the rest of the summer. At one point, I went to a football seven-on-seven competition at Snow College and at some point while there the conversation turned to if we would let our girlfriends drive our cars. I remember Brad saying "I would let Jeanell drive my car..," and Brad's friend Dano, who is also Jeanell's cousin, trying to cover by saying "yeah, G'neil Givens" (who was a few years older than us). I was not fooled but have laughed about that several times over the years.
By the time school rolled around again, Jeanell was again not sure about our relationship and she broke up with me again right before school started. At this point, I was angry, and went out of my way to ignore her and/or make it clear I did not like her. She ended up checking into the same Seminary class as me and when she first walked into the classroom, I loudly declared "Ohhh, this used to be a good class." Later, I was walking down toward the football field for practice, and she ran and caught up to me and asked, "Why do you hate me?" to which I replied, "Oh, I know, I should just love you."
Not too long after school started, there was a back to school dance (I'm not sure when school started that year, but the first football game was August 27 and I'm guessing this dance was either that same night or the next night. I do remember it was at the tennis courts at the elementary school). Still upset about the breakup, I was determined to have a great time and I did, dancing up a storm. I had bought tickets to Cats and had planned to take Jeanell for her birthday, but since she broke up with me, I asked another girl if she'd like to go instead. I don't know if Jeanell was impressed by my dance moves or if she just decided she might still like me, but toward the end of the dance, she found me and asked if we could talk. We left the dance together and made up. The next Thursday, she rode to Gunnison with my parents for our next football game.
Since we were back together, I had to cancel the invitation to the other girl to go to Cats, which I cowardly did through another friend. Over the next few weeks and months, things were good. We went to Cats (and Village Inn!) on September 11, 1993, on what we consider our first official date. I went over to Jeanell's house and helped paint the kitchen while we listened to John Michael Montgomery sing "Life's a Dance" on repeat the entire time. Jeanell left a treat for me in our van during football practice and thought she'd lock one door to make me think I'd locked the keys in the van, not realizing that pushing the lock down on the driver's door would lock all of the doors. She could see the school parking lot from her house on Deseret Circle and looked out the window later that night to see my van sitting all alone in the parking lot. We watched the movies "Benny and Joon" ("500 Miles" from that movie is a song we consider as one of our songs, but our official song was "Please Forgive Me" by Bryan Adams) and "Pure Country" together. We'd get cheese fries at Nettie's and listen to country music on the radio in the Komfort Koach ("Chattahoochee" is another of our songs from this time). I went to a Soelberg family gathering at Mark and Lisa's place on Park Street following my record-setting rushing performance against Juab. We went to the Halloween dance together, albeit not in costume. Jeanell asked me to Morp (via the Soelberg's marquee. I answered by having Teryl Hunsaker, who announced the football games, call her out after or before a drill team performance and tell her that yes, I would go to Morp with her).
On November 6, 1993, we lost our final football game against Beaver. Later that night, Jeanell and I were watching Saturday Night Live at my house. Finally, it got close to when she needed to be home and I took her home (for whatever reason, we had my Grandma Nalder's white Ford Taurus at the time and that's what I drove her home in). We made out for a while in the car before she went in and things maybe went a bit too far. The next morning, I decided that we were getting too serious and this time, I broke up with Jeanell. The break-up was painful for both of us. I remember Jeanell bringing me a few of my items, along with a letter, and a mixed-tape (which I still have, Side A: Please Forgive Me and (Everything I Do) I Do It for You by Bryan Adams, In This Life and Let It Be Me by Colin Raye, Lately by Jodeci, Glory of Love by Peter Cetera, I Cross My Heart and Last In Love by George Strait, End of the Road by Boyz II Men Side B: I Love the Way You Love Me by John Michael Montgomery, Love Theme from St. Elmo's Fire by David Foster, When I Fall in Love by Celine Dion, I'll Be There by The Escape Club (also our Prom theme), Open Arms by Journey, Somebody by Depeche Mode, Love of a Lifetime by Firehouse, and Only Time Will Tell by Nelson) and sitting on my bed listening to the tape and reading the letter and just sobbing.
(As an aside, this is an area that I struggle with as I look back on it. Within the Church culture I had been raised in, I felt what I now consider to be an unreasonable amount of guilt over this. It's not that I think teenage kids should be having sex, but when it's talked about in the Book of Mormon as being "most abominable above all sins save it be the shedding of innocent blood or denying the Holy Ghost," that seems a little over the top. I also struggle with the need of such sexual sins needing to be confessed to priesthood authorities, particularly in the case of young women confessing to older men. I'm not up to speed on what the current rules are but I hope they've changed).
We were already planning on Morp, which was the next Saturday, and determined that we'd still go together. We doubled with George Tripp and Kim Stookey. We ate dinner in the conference room upstairs at the store. After the dance, we went and sat in the hot tub at Jeanell's Uncle Mark and Aunt Lisa's house. I'm not saying that things went a little too far again on this occasion, but I'm not not saying that.
So we continued, officially broken up, but effectively still interested in each other. Somewhere in this time period, Jeanell asked me to be here promenade partner and while Jeanell was gone on a family vacation to Disneyland, I sneaked into her house to both answer her for promenade and to ask her to Prom. To answer her, my mom made her a quilt (which we still have) and sewed some letters to spell out "YES." To ask her to Prom, I recorded myself singing my own lyrics to the tune of Adam Sandler's Thanksgiving Song. "Jeanell, I really like you a lot. If you were fry sauce, I'd be your tater tot." (I don't think I intended that to be sexual).
Jeanell returned and accepted my invitation to Prom, but as we got to Christmas, it was the beginning of the end. By that time, we were both officially and effectively broken up. I believe Jeanell had started hanging out with Brad again in the days after Christmas. While it seems that there were times that we were friends again over the next few months, it seems we also drifted further apart. At some point, Jeanell "unasked" me from promenading and asked someone else and so then I was asked by someone else to promenade. I decided I still wanted to take her to Prom, but our friendship had dried up and by the time Prom rolled around we hadn't spoken for some time and were both interested in other people.
Prom was a big deal, but not quite the extravaganza it has become. I went and took the ACT the morning of the Prom (as did several other Juniors). When I returned home, I decided I'd play a little joke and called Jeanell and told her I was sick. She understandably did not like the joke and hung up on me. I quickly called her back and apologized and said that I had been joking. Prom itself was pretty good. We went and ate at Five Alls on Foothill Boulevard. During the dance, my promenade partner asked if we could take a picture and while I was gone doing that, Brad asked Jeanell to dance and I returned to find them dancing, which didn't make me happy. But we made it through the evening and ended the night watching a movie together (can't remember what movie it was, maybe "Some Kind of Wonderful"). I gave Jeanell a hug goodnight, not knowing that would really be goodbye.
I had had some feelings rekindled and called her the next day, I think hoping maybe that our relationship could continue, but it was too late. Jeanell had moved on. By that fall, she was pregnant with Devin and in December, she married Brad.
That chapter of our life together was over.
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