Driving

I am not now, nor really ever have been, a good driver. I don't know that I'm an "you're afraid for your life the whole time I'm driving" bad driver, but more likely than not, if you are riding with me while I'm driving, I will do something that you will question. Both Jeanell and I are usually more comfortable if she is driving.

This has always been the case. My first experiences driving came on the sheep ranch where I worked from the time I was 12 until I left on my mission (and a little bit after I returned). That first summer I worked there (1989), we were feeding the sheep one day, and I guess they figured I wasn't going to be much help in the back of the truck throwing the hay so my boss (Sunnie Titmus) had me get behind the wheel, gave me a few instructions on driving stick, and had me drive the feed truck around. Driving did not come naturally to me. By the end of that day (or even that morning), a gate had been destroyed, and more tragically, a baby lamb had been run over. I don't remember which incident occurred first (I think it was the gate), but looking back, it's a little funny that there even was a second incident after the first incident (though I am grateful for the 2nd chance). I guess maybe even more comical is that after that inauspicious beginning, I was employed for another seven years.

A few years later, my buddy John Larsen (who had begun working on the ranch with me) and I were doing something with one of the big tractors, and near the back of the machine shed. Sunnie had specifically told us to be careful not to hit the back of the shed. Probably within the hour, I turned too sharply and caught the corner of the shed, damaging it pretty good. After that, I pretty much deferred operation of heavy equipment to John and I would focus on manual labor. (I should note that Sunnie was always very patient with me and I appreciate that. I don't remember him ever yelling at me and only one time where he was visibly angry, which I'll get into in a future post).

By the time Driver's Ed rolled around a few years later, I had been driving at least some on the ranch and should have been pretty comfortable, but I was not. Wayco Cowan, whose birthday is the day before mine, was my driving partner and I remember him going to school after one of our driving sessions, and telling people about our misadventures.

One instance I recall came early one morning and I was driving back to Grantsville from Tooele. A fairly large box appeared in the lane in front of me and I just ran over it, making no attempt to avoid it. After hitting the box, I looked over at Mr. Mohler sitting in the passenger seat, and laughed nervously. I think it was my nervous laugh that really cracked Wayco up.

Another time we were practicing freeway driving out west of Grantsville, and Mr. Mohler had me take the exit to get off the freeway. I hadn't really driven on the freeway before and didn't really slow down after taking the exit and was still going pretty fast toward the stop sign at the bottom of the exit when Mr. Mohler pushed the brake from his side. I remember Wayco telling people I was ready to just speed right through and get right back on the freeway.

I don't know how I passed the driving test. I remember being pretty frazzled and just ready to be done and consequently speeding on my way back to the school (losing more points). Mr. Mohler added up my points and said I got an 82 (I think you needed an 80 to pass). Pretty sure he just didn't want to have to drive with me anymore.

Fortunately, I haven't been in too many accidents through the years. I've just done dumb things that I was lucky didn't result in an accident. I pulled out in front of a bus, then realized it was pretty close, and tried to back up, but the card behind me had pulled behind me when I started to go so I couldn't back up. The bus swerved into the other lane around me. I mistakenly tried to turn left on a road with a big cement median so I was headed into oncoming traffic. The driver coming toward me stopped short of the start of the median so I could get over and into the right lane.

When we lived in Ogden, I was late leaving for work and left before the windshield had defrosted (we had a garage in Ogden, but our cars didn't fit in the garage, it was too short). I again, got going in the wrong lane, but somehow managed to get over into a parking lot and having suffered a pretty significant scare, wisely waited for the windshield to completely defrost.

I've slid off the road multiple times. Another time I recall in Ogden, I slid coming off the exit in a way that blocked the exit, which gave people no choice but to help get me unstuck and back on the road. I slid into the median on I-80 going back to Ogden from Grantsville one night. The slide resulted in a flat tire and by the time we got it changed we decided to just go back to Grantsville. We finally made it back to Dave and Carol's about one in the morning. I slid off of Rocket Road in Tremonton, but spun right into a driveway without hitting anything. After taking a deep breath I was able to continue on my way.

One year when we lived in Elwood, I traded in our Dodge Durango and bought a Chevy Impala. Jeanell hated that car. Fortunately for her, I slid off the road, down a steep embankment and through a fence not too long after purchasing the car. It was totaled and we were able to purchase an Infiniti G35, which we both liked, but not long afterward, I hit a cinderblock that was on I-80, which caused significant damage.

Another time when we lived in Elwood, I intended to turn onto the frontage road, but mistakenly turned onto the freeway EXIT. Fortunately, I realized my mistake and turned around before I encountered any other vehicles.

My luck with cars isn't limited to driving them. When we lived in Ogden, I was taking our Mustang through the car wash, but didn't feel I was centered correctly. I saw there was a bar, but I only saw it on one side so I thought I'd wait until the bar went to the other side of the car and then I'd open by door to see if I was lined up. I did just that, but it was then that I learned there were bars on both sides and the bar on the driver side hit the open door and bent it forward. Fortunately it stopped and I was able to get the door closed more or less and drove off. I'm pretty sure it put the car wash out of commission so the people in line behind me probably weren't too happy.

When in Elwood, I was trying the start the Oldsmobile Alero that Carl and Rachel had generously given us, but the key would not turn. I texted Carl and asked him if there was any trick to it, but Carl couldn't think that there was. Finally I opened the owner's manual, which had this helpful sentence. "If the key won't turn, you may be using the wrong key." I looked down at the key and realized I had been trying to start the Alero with the key to our other car.

Another time I tried to clean off my windshield by pulling down on the wiper handle but no fluid came out. I went and bought some wiper fluid and opened the hood to fill it only to find that it was already full. I got back in the car and realized I needed to pull back rather than down to activate the mist.

Finally, after we moved to Grantsville, before our home was built, I would go down to my parents' house to work. One day, I must have been in a hurry. At the end of the day, as I was getting ready to go home, I couldn't find my keys. I finally went out to see if I had left them in the car, only to find that the car was still running from when I had arrived, eight hours before.

I'm probably fortunate to still be alive and am grateful that I haven't been involved in more accidents, but yeah, driving is not really my thing.

(I don't have a lot of "car" pictures so these pictures were taken when we purchased two of our vehicles).

We bought this green Ford Expedition at Sherm's Store in Ogden in 2001. What an outfit!

 Our most recent vehicle purchase. Don't worry, I try not to drive it very often.