Big Fish

As is probably clear by now, I have no real organization or plan of what I am going to write about each week.  While I have several draft posts of topics I could and at some point would like to write about, a lot of what I write for a particular week is based on events that happen and give me inspiration (if you can call it that) of something I could write about.

This week has been spent primarily attending my daughter Lila's performances of Big Fish at Centerpoint Legacy Theatre. If you haven't seen the musical, or the 2003 film starring Ewan MacGregor and Albert Finney, it's about a father who has always told wild and impossible stories about his life and about his son, who is skeptical of the stories, who is trying to understand his father as his father is dying from cancer. It's a wonderful show with many wonderful themes and messages about living life and the relationships we develop. If you haven't seen the musical, I highly recommend seeing it if given the opportunity.

As I've seen the show multiple times this past week, it's caused me to think about my own father, who passed away a little over two years ago. I've thought about the stories of his life that he shared with me, about the relationship we had, and about the legacy he left behind  While my dad's stories were not as exaggerated and improbable as those of Edward Bloom (the main character of Big Fish), they shared a love of puns and dumb jokes, and like Edward, my dad had a large personality and had an impact on many people that he encountered in his life.

Inspired by Big Fish, I want to share some of the stories my dad shared about his early life. Since my mom found a history my dad had written of his early life, I will quote some from him directly. Others, I will share to the best of my recollection.

Gasoline

"For some reason I developed a great love for the smell of gasoline. I was known for going around in the church parking lot, and opening the gas tanks just to get a whiff of that good, fresh gasoline. Because we lived on a farm and had great demand for gasoline to run the farming operations, we had a five hundred gallon tank just directly north and west of our house. On top of that tank was the opening through which the gasoline was put when the big trucks would come. Well, my love for that smell led me to the top of our big five hundred gallon tank, and having removed the cap I placed myself in a prone position with my nose inside the cap area and began to enjoy those beautiful fumes. The next thing I remember, I was in the doctor's office and was told that I had done something very foolish, and if it hadn't been for my mother, I probably would have died. Apparently my mother had been prompted to come out of the house. She came out back, saw me on top of the tank and knew immediately that I had passed out. She climbed up and pulled me off the tank and rushed me to the doctor. I have always admired the spiritual awareness that my mother possessed in being sensitive to the still, small voice and being able to respond to that voice in times of need."

Archery

"When I was a little older, I think I was seven or eight, I borrowed by brother's bow and arrow, and in the fall of the year, went out into the cornfield to practice my archery abilities. I would shoot the arrow and then retrieve it, and then shoot it again and retrieve it. After doing this for some time I began to tire and so I would (aim) the arrow higher so it would land closer so I wouldn't have to walk as far to retrieve it. Eventually I found myself shooting the arrow straight into the air. On one such mighty thrust, the arrow went up and seemingly disappeared. I could not see it and I stood there waiting for it to come back. Suddenly the arrow hit the bill of my ball cap and landed in an upright position between my feet. Had that arrow been over closer to me by a matter of inches, I would not be here today to tell this story."

Milking

As my dad got a little older, he began to work for neighboring farmers to bring additional income for his family. He tells of being kicked in the head by a particular cow because he had neglected to put the hobbles on her and that after being knocked into the gutter would have again been killed (I'm detecting a pattern) if the next cow over had stepped back at that moment.

"Another time, Paul (my dad's brother) and I were working for a fellow by the name of Arnold Troseth. We had an open house up at school one night, and mother had to come to get us from milking the cows for Brother Troseth. When she came, it was decided that I would clean up and Paul would feed, but I thought that I was to feed and he would clean up. Well, as it ended up, both of us fed and neither of us cleaned up, and we left that night without cleaning up. The next morning Brother Troseth called and wanted to know if something had happened. We said, 'No, there was no problem. Everything was fine.' And he said, 'Well, the reason I called was that when I went out this morning to milk the cows I found the milkers already on the cows and they have been there all night long.'"

Dixie

I remember Dad telling us about his girlfriend in junior high named Dixie, and how he made her a tape of him singing some song (we can't remember what the song was), but inserting her name into it. (No idea why he would do something like this). Somehow or other my grandpa got a hold of the tape and my dad said Grandpa would listen to it and laugh until tears rolled down his cheeks.

Basketball

In high school, my grandpa told my dad that he would be unable to play basketball because the family needed him to work. Because he loved basketball, my dad begged and begged Grandpa to let him play, and finally he relented, but not until try-outs were over. So my dad went to the coach and begged and begged to be allowed to try-out, and finally the coach relented, and my dad made the team. But then, Grandpa came back and said he was sorry, but the family needed his income and he would have to quit. Dad went and dejectedly told the coach, who had allowed him to try-out late, that he would be unable to play after all.

The Car

After my dad and my Uncle Paul had left for college, my Uncle Paul at some point bought a car. For some reason, my dad took the car home, which was the first time my grandpa saw it. My dad's family had always owned Volkswagens and this car was not a Volkswagen and my grandpa was not happy. He began to chew out my dad, with my dad unable to even get a word in. Finally, my dad blurted out "Dad! I didn't buy it! Paul did!" to which my grandpa replied "I don't care! He's your brother!" To my dad's recollection and knowledge, Grandpa never said anything about it to Paul.

These are just a few stories from my dad's early years that I remember him telling us over the years. Seeing Big Fish made me remember some of these stories and think about my dad and our relationship. While we maybe weren't as close as we could have been, or in retrospect, as close as I wish we'd been, I certainly loved him, and he was a great dad to me. Sometimes I'll say things to my own kids and I can totally hear my dad saying the same thing and in the same manner.

I'll end with some lyrics from my favorite song from Big Fish, How It Ends:

I know I wasn't perfect
I know my life was small
I know that I pretended that
I knew it all
But when you tell my story
And I hope somebody does
Remember me as something
Bigger than I was

I love you Dad.