A Spoonful of Sugar

A few weeks ago, Dave (my other dad) dropped by unexpectedly with a gift. (I can't speak for others who benefit from his generosity, but speaking only for myself, this happens much more often than I deserve). In this instance, he had purchased some running shoes for Lila, Jeanell, and myself. He had just picked shoes out for us, but gave us the receipt in case we needed to exchange. In my case, I need a wide shoe, and so knew that I probably would need to go the Salt Lake Running Company in Centerville to make the exchange.

Fast forward a couple of weeks. Jeanell and I had been wanting to go and see "Michael" and Lila was working so we planned a little date night to go see it. Usually we would go to one of the Salt Lake area theatres, but remembering that I needed to exchange those shoes decided  we could kill two birds with one stone (sorry PETA) and go see the movie in Davis County, exchanging the shoes beforehand.

Most of the time, I go to the Megaplex website to find a theatre, and if I had on this occasion, I would have discovered that there was a Megaplex theatre less than a mile from the running store we needed to visit. But for whatever reason, this time I went to the Cinemark website, saw that "Michael" was playing at the one in Farmington, and purchased tickets for the 6:25 show.

We left Grantsville at about 5, which didn't leave us a ton of time to make the shoe exchange. I had seen the Megaplex theatre when we got off the freeway and even though I'd already bought tickets at the theatre in Farmington, thought again about buying tickets for the 7:00 show at the Megaplex just to give us a little more time, but Jeanell said we'd be fine.

We went to the running store and made our exchanges, which took a minute because they ultimately couldn't order the shoes I needed through their vendors. We left for Farmington a little later than planned but still in time to take the movie.

Of course, when we arrived in Farmington we wanted some snacks, and pizzas, but the pizzas had to be cooked, which took a few minutes. We didn't end up getting into the theatre until after the scheduled start time, but with all of the previews, were there in plenty of time to see the movie.

The movie was good and we both enjoyed it. I have some conflicting thoughts about the topic in general and how appropriate it is to have a celebratory movie about a person credibly accused of the things that Michael was, but that's a topic for another time. For now, we just enjoyed the movie and the music.

Following the movie, we still had some pizza and popcorn that we were planning to take home, but each needed to use the restroom so we took turns. While Jeanell was in the restroom, I had the popcorn bag balancing on top of the pizza box, but took a misstep and tipped the box, spilling almost all of the popcorn onto the floor. A woman and her granddaughter had walked past me just as I spilled the popcorn and I hear the granddaughter ask her grandma if it had been their fault as they walked away. It was not.

Jeanell came out of the restroom, looked at me, looked at the mostly empty popcorn bag, looked at the popcorn strewn all over the floor, then back at me. Our eyes met and we both burst out laughing. When I came out of the restroom, a theatre employee was in the hall sweeping up the popcorn. I felt bad.

Finally, we headed outside and back to our car, but as we walked past P. F. Chang's, I saw one of my good friends, Shelly Anderson Neilson, who had just left the restaurant.

I mentioned Shelly in my post about my friend George back in 2024. We first met at Engineering State up at USU between our Junior and Senior years of high school (summer of 1994). We were friends all through college. Shelly was a dynamo who knew everyone and was involved in everything. While I was in Mexico City on my mission, she was elected as USU's student-body president. We were great friends but hadn't seen each other in person (at least that I recall) since my and Jeanell's wedding in May of 2000.

I met Shelly's husband Reid, whom I had never met. We talked briefly about Ed and Cindy Cole serving in their mission while Reid and Shelly served as mission presidents. We talked about Shelly trying to attend my farewell back in 1996, but getting lost and missing it. I told Shelly and Reid about helping a friend find a talk given at BYU, which turned out to have been given by Reid, who quoted extensively from a message Shelly had given while they served as mission presidents (tl;dr: this is exactly what you signed up for, Shelly can get you a sticker). We talked about my recent mishap in the produce department at Soelbergs.

Jeanell knows Shelly as well. When Jeanell and I first started dating, we went to USU's homecoming with a group that included Shelly. We only talked for a few minutes, but it was fun to run into her and visit, albeit briefly. And then we both went on our way.

As I think back on that night, it was quite a sequence of events that put Jeanell and I passing by P. F.  Chang's just as Shelly and Reid were exiting. Some people believe that there are no coincidences, that everything happens for a reason. I, on the other hand, very much believe in coincidences.

But that doesn't make them any less fun.

One of my favorite scenes in all of cinema is the exchange between Mr. Banks and Bert toward the end of Mary Poppins. Together, they sing a song called "A Man Has Dreams". It opens with what I consider to be a brilliant line, "A man has dreams of walking with giants, to carve his niche in the edifice of time." Through the song, Bert helps Mr. Banks to see that while he has been successful in his career, he hasn't given his children the attention they deserve, and which he will only have so much opportunity to give them. He then concludes by singing:

You've got to grind, grind, grind at that grindstone
Though child'ood slips like sand through a sieve
And all too soon they've up and grown
And then they've flown
And it's too late for you to give
Just that spoonful of sugar to 'elp the medicine go down
The medicine go down, medicine go down

For a long time I had focused on the first part of that stanza, about the reminder that we only have so much time with our kids and that that time cannot be recovered. But lately, I've been drawn to the closing lines of the stanza, about the spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down.

Back in 2005, when I was still an active participant in the Church, Elder Bednar gave a talk in which he popularized the term "tender mercies". It's possible I missed the whole point of the talk (after all, I am an apostate), but I always understood a "tender mercy" not to be some grand and obvious blessing, but more to be the small and sometimes overlooked "coincidences" that make our lives a little sweeter. A little richer, if you will.

I realized that a tender mercy and the spoonful of sugar are the same thing. Both refer to those small, beneficial moments that make this life, with all the heartache and sadness it can bring, more enjoyable.

Fans of Mary Poppins will recall that after Bert leaves, Jane and Michael show up and apologize to their father for the trouble they caused, giving him the tuppence that had led to the run on the bank. Mr. Banks then heads to the bank, where he is fired (along with his hat and umbrella being ruined). Asked if he has anything to say, he stumbles for a moment before blurting out "supercalifrajilisticexpialadocious" and bursting out laughing. Faced with losing his job and reputation, Mr. Banks discovered that the nonsense word he had learned from Mary Poppins was the spoonful of sugar that he needed.

In the spring of 2025, Lila's theatre group at Centerpoint put on "The Drowsy Chaperone," which contains the ballad "As We Stumble Along." As the title implies, the song talks about life as something that we stumble through, just doing the best we can to make things work. But the song also has another metaphor for the small blessings in our lives:

We look here and we look there
Seeking answers anywhere
Never sure of where to turn or what to do

Still we bumble our way
Through life's crazy labyrinth
Barely knowing left from right
Nor right from wrong
And the best that we can do
Is hope a bluebird
Will sing his song
As we stumble along

I have so many big things to be thankful for in my life. I'm married to the woman of my dreams, and even after twenty-six years, I sometimes can't believe that I get to spend my life with her. I've got wonderful kids that are a joy to be around and make me proud. I get to live near and interact frequently with both my mom and siblings and Jeanell's parents and siblings. I've got my health and my job. Great neighbors. I could go on and on.

But I'm still grateful for those small coincidences, like running into a friend you haven't seen for twenty-six years, that make life just a bit sweeter.