Sunday, March 10, 2024

Tyler and Brayden (The Twins)

I imagine it can be a challenge to be a twin. I'm sure it has its benefits as well, but I think it can be difficult to be appreciated individually when you're a twin. I'm sure there are twins who are very different in their likes, interests, personality, and even appearance, but that is not the case for our twins. All of this is a very long-winded way of saying that I wanted to write separate posts for Tyler and Brayden, but when I try to think how those posts would be different, I don't come up with a lot.

While not a twin, I can relate somewhat due to the similarities in appearance I have with my brothers. At times, I am greeted quite enthusiastically by people who I am quite certain I have never met in my life. One of my favorites was picking up some takeout at Casa del Rey a few years ago and the worker at the window, thinking I was my brother Scott (who she'd had as a teacher) said, "Hey! Good to see you! You look different." Another favorite is my Aunt Jacquie (who incidentally is herself a twin) calling my brother Carl "Scott" at a family Christmas party and when Carl corrected her, responding with "Does it matter?"

I still remember when I learned that my twins were going to be born. I was on a mission in Mexico City (this would have been late 1996 or early 1997) and my friend Ashley had organized a friend newsletter as several of us were on missions or otherwise apart following high school. In one of those newsletters, Ashley wrote "Jeanell found out what she is having! And it's not a girl and it's not a boy! In March, she will be giving birth to twins!" (Or something like that).

(One fun thing about two of your sons being born while you were a thousand miles away serving an LDS mission is the fun you can have with other missionaries you served with. I ran into a fellow Mexico City North missionary a few years later in Park City (incidentally, this missionary was the former boyfriend of my sister-in-law, Natalie (Jefferies) We were serving in the same zone when he received his Dear John, though we didn't put it all together until the night before we came home). The twins were with me and when I affirmed that they were mine, you could see the confusion on his face. He immediately began asking the twins how old they were as we walked away).

I wouldn't actually meet Tyler and Brayden until a few years later (when they were two in the fall of 1999). My earliest memory of them is playing football with them in the family room of the townhome where they were living. Several months later, just a couple of months after they turned three I would become their bonus dad.

Some early memories include them getting into Aunt Rachel's scrapbooking and cutting up a bunch of pictures when I was "watching" them, the way they'd both respond with "no, yuh!" when you asked them to do something or said something about them, the way they loved to dress up (Buzz and Woody, Spiderman and Batman, Merry and Pippin, Captain Hook and Smee), the terms and phrases they would come up with ("gray sky" to describe that time of day either before the sun comes up or after it's gone down, but it is light out or "wasted it" to refer to someone finishing the last of something).

The first year Jeanell and I were married, the twins (and Devin) called me "Richard." When Caleb was born, we encouraged them to start calling me "Dad" so that Caleb would learn to call me that rather than by my name, which they have done ever since. But I do remember in their younger years, when they were mad at me, they would revert to calling me "Richard." Or they would threaten to do so.

When we lived in Ogden and Tyler and Brayden were six or seven, they went around the neighborhood and stole the mail from several neighbors' mailboxes. We discovered the crime when random pieces of mail made their way into our house. I still remember collecting what was left and undamaged and walking around the neighborhood, returning what I could to the rightful recipients. I remember all were very nice about it, but one guy tried to tell me that he had been expecting cash from his grandma. I told him I hadn't seen anything like that. I never heard anything else about it so I guess either he was lying or it showed up.

As the boys got older, we bonded primarily over sports, whether watching, participating in, or playing the latest pro or college football or basketball game on the PlayStation or XBox. I used to record all the Jazz games and watch them fast later. One night, I was just sitting down to watch the latest game when I heard Tyler exclaim from downstairs "The Jazz lost!" I became unreasonably angry about having the outcome of the game revealed. Jeanell and the boys give me a hard time about it to this day. But it pretty much has broken me of trying to not learn the outcome of a game, intending to watch it later.

I had the privilege of coaching their Junior Jazz teams. We had several good teams over the years, but with subpar coaching, we only got so far and never captured an elusive championship. I also enjoyed watching them compete in baseball and football over the years.

When the twins were thirteen, they (and Devin) decided to move down to Grantsville (we lived in Elwood at the time) to live with their dad. That was a difficult adjustment for Jeanell and I, and probably in a different way, for the boys as well. At one point, Brayden decided he was going to move back to Elwood and live with us again. I took a day off of work and drove down to Grantsville and spent the day helping Brayden get things squared away with school so that he was ready to transfer back to Bear River. This was on a Friday and I drove back home with the plan of coming back to get him on Sunday. But then he changed his mind. I wasn't thrilled at the time, but I think it was the right decision. And I wouldn't have wanted he and Tyler to be split up. I remember he texted me and apologized, and thanked me for coming down and helping him get his grades up in some classes. That meant a lot.

As adults, we have made many wonderful memories with Tyler and Brayden. We've been to four College Football Playoff Semifinal games (Ohio State vs Clemson twice, Alabama vs Cincinatti, and TCU vs Michigan). We've been to see both the Lakers and Clippers play the Warriors in Crypto.com/Staples. On March 11, 2020 we drove to LA to watch Lebron and the Lakers play the next day. News about Covid was ramping up and so we were following the news throughout the trip, hoping the game wouldn't be canceled. Right as we got to the hotel in LA, we got the news that Rudy Gobert had tested positive for Covid and the NBA was suspending the season. We spent the night in LA and then drove back home the next day (we talked about maybe going to Universal Studios, but I was pretty nervous at the time and convinced Jeanell and the twins that we needed to just go back home).

This last September, we took them to New York, saw a few plays, and attended the Men's Final of the U.S. Open where Djokovic defeated Medvedev in straight sets. It was a great experience, but Brayden (and to a lesser extent Tyler) were upset that Medvedev didn't provide a better match (they'd been hoping for Alcaraz).

One of my favorite parts of these road trips is the opportunity it gives us just to talk. We have different opinions in many areas, and these trips have stimulated great discussion on a variety of topics. Tyler and Brayden help me to see other perspectives and to question my own paradigms. I love the talks we are able to have.

I'm so grateful for Tyler and Brayden and so glad that they came into my life those many years ago.




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